What’s the best stand-in when you can’t get a hug, but you’re looking for some sort of comfort? It’s like that saying – money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy cheese, and that’s kind of the same.

People can be surprisingly passionate about condiments. Just ask whether they prefer mayonnaise or Miracle Whip. Or if they drench pizza in ranch. Or about the "best" regional BBQ sauce style. And.